Camouflaged Couch

Have I ever mentioned that unusual things happen to me?  Well...they do, and tonight was very unusual.  I was driving home with my son after his judo class.  We were right behind my husband who drove separately. I noticed that my husband swerved to the right suddenly, and stayed in that lane.  I thought it was because he wanted to get off at a different exit.  That's when I noticed a camouflaged obstruction.

I saw what looked like a big, brown moving box out of the corner of my eye and swerved to avoid it.  I still hit it, but thought it was minor.  Since I'm in an SUV,  it felt like I had only "nicked" it.  It wasn't until my husband signaled for me to pull over that I saw the actual damage and learned that I had not hit a box.  I had hit a big, dark brown coach in the middle of the freeway at night.

I had to call the police, and file a collision claim with my insurance. My poor baby was so scared.  I hope it doesn't raise my premium much.  Fortunately, we're unscathed.  What an interesting way to start the weekend...

Recognizing Talent

My 2013 new year's resolution is to learn how to play the ukulele.  My sister's renewed interest in her music inspired me to take this on.  I chose the uke because it's small, which works well with my hands. I wasn't blessed with piano fingers.   They also have plastic strings which are not as painful on the fingers as metal strings.  Not to mention, I love how they sound.  My long term goal is to play like Israel "Iz" Kamakawiwo'ole - on a beach in Hawaii.

Tonight, I've been practicing for a couple of hours by watching videos on youtube.   I was struck by the title of one of the recommended videos that popped up on the right hand side of my screen. It's called "Homeless Boy Steals Talent Show".  I clicked on it, thinking it had something to do with a kid playing a ukulele, but it doesn't.  It's about a young man that enters the Korea's Got Talent competition, and blows them all away.  As of today, it had nearly 77 million views.

His story is very sad in that he was unwanted by his parents, and dropped off at an orphanage when he was only 3 years old.  At the age of 5, he ran away because he was abused.  He lived on the streets alone from age 5 to 15.  He sold stuff on the streets.  I can't even begin to imagine how difficult this kid's life has been.  Regardless, he chose to enter the competition and pursue his dreams.  His voice is truly extraordinary.

On our cruise last week, one of the servers on the Lido deck restaurant told me a similar story about his own childhood.  The server is from Indonesia and his name is Ipau.  His parents didn't want him, so he was raised by his reluctant grandmother.  He told me about how he had practically raised himself, and no one cared about what he was up to. He got into drugs, and was a "really bad boy".  He said all he ever wanted, and still wants, is hugs from his family.

Somewhere along the way, Ipau found God, and completely turned his life around.  Today, he said that when he gets to go home to Indonesia during his short time off, everyone is eager to see him because they know he's bringing money with him.  Their main motivation to hug him is the hope to get some money out of him.

I was  humbled by the fact that this server had been so open and vulnerable with me.  He had shared so much with me, and had just met me.  We clicked.  He was at our beck and call the entire cruise.  He told me that he enjoys his job because he gets to serve happy families on vacation. He chooses to provide excellent service because he wants to make a positive impact on his guests' experience.  He knows he's serving God by serving others.  I watched him work, and observed with sadness while other guests barely acknowledged his presence.  Many didn't even take the time to look him in the eye.

Do you recognize those that stand-out and provide excellent service?  Do you provide excellent service to others?  How do you treat the people who serve you?  All people want to be seen as human beings - not just objects that are there to fulfill our needs. Next time you go to a restaurant or drive through, take the time to acknowledge the individual taking your order.  Ask for their name, and thank them for their service.  It just might make their day...and yours.

"Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms." - 1 Peter 4:10

Woe is Me

One of Socrates most famous quotes is "know thyself".  Wisdom often comes from being honest with yourself and truly knowing your strengths and weaknesses.

The last several weeks have been a bit stressful for me.  I felt like I was burning the candle on both ends. Being self-aware, I realize that when I start to feel stressed out, I get increasingly annoyed with others and my patience is short.

Here are a few of the stress-filled roles I've played over the past 3 weeks:

1. Greiver - Foxylady, my sweet pomeranian of nearly 13 years, passed away suddenly
2. Patient - I had a painful medical experience when an ovarian cyst ruptured unexpectedly - the doctors are monitoring a second one
3. Travel agent - I planned my dad's 80th birthday cruise and coordinated travel for nearly 20 people
4. Doctor - My son was attacked by fire ants and had an allergic reaction to the over 30 bites
5. Counselor - Several people close me asked for my guidance on personal and work related problems

Notice I only listed roles I played in my personal life.  The work roles were too many to mention.  I began wallowing in self pity.  I allowed myself to get distracted and feel sorry for myself - "I'm so busy...I've got so many problems to solve...No one helps me, why aren't people more accountable, wah-wah-wah, boo hoo, woe is me!!!..."  I had accepted an invitation to my own pity party.

Woe is me is a phrase my husband and I have used for nearly 20 years to make fun of ourselves when we're having a pity party.  We also say Down in the dumps and make sad faces.  Ironically, these tend to cheer us up.  Fortunately for me, my wonderful, loving husband allows me to vent .  I even went as far as documenting the top 10 Things that annoy me, and it felt good getting it off my chest (if you're curious what those are, leave a comment and I'll send them to you).

As I've written before, my stress antidote is going on vacation.  As soon as I felt the twinge of annoyance, I knew it was time to book a cruise.  So that's exactly what I did.  My Michaels and I went on a fabulous cruise vacation to Belize and Cozumel.  We got back Thursday.  It was just what the doctor ordered.  We zip-lined through the rain forest, went cave tubing in Belize, relaxed on Paradise Beach in Cozumel, Mexico, and even tried ice skating on board the ship.

Do you really know yourself?  Do you know what makes you tick, what drives you nuts, and what you love to do the most?  I'm not exactly proud of my moments of weakness, but I'm surely not ashamed.  We all have our moments of self pity...the key is to acknowledge them, move on, and get out there!

Faith, Hope and Chocolate

My first date with my sweet husband consisted of going to the movies to watch Forrest Gump in July of 1994.  Little did I know, that first date would turn into a serious relationship nearly 20 years strong.  One of my favorite lines from the movie is the famous quote:  "Life is like a box of chocolates - you never know what you're gonna get".

Last Friday, my dad was in a car accident. Fortunately, he wasn't hurt. In fact, he wasn't driving.  He was riding shotgun with his friend and they were headed to church.  In an instant, a pedestrian leaving a liquor store, holding a six-pack of beer came out of nowhere and they hit him. The pedestrian was rushed to the hospital, and it was confirmed that his blood alcohol level was higher than the legal limit, so my dad's friend wasn't charged with any wrongdoing.  On Sunday, the pedestrian died.  

Understandably, the driver was distraught by what had happened.  One second, he and my dad are laughing and talking, and the next - tragedy strikes.  We all know that circumstances can change in the blink of an eye. Terrible things like this make me especially cognizant of the fact that we're all extremely fragile.  We can never be fully prepared for what life throws at us, no matter how hard we try to be in control.  We should be so grateful for what we have, while we still have it.

My dad will turn 80 years old in May.  He's been through a lot in his life, and is very wise.  It was such a blessing that he was there when this terrible accident occurred because he was a tremendous source of comfort to the driver.  My dad is especially cool under pressure, and he's very level-headed.  He is a very proud Cuban. He left Cuba in the early '60s because he was so outspoken against the Communist party.  His choices were to stay in Cuba and risk being imprisoned/killed, or he could leave the country.  

He lost everything he had ever worked for in an instant.  He had to start all over, in a country whose language he didn't speak. Fortunately, we live in a free country that is still "the land of opportunity".  Although he has gone through his fair share of trials and tribulations - as we all do - he realizes that we are a culmination of our experiences.  Our character and perseverance is molded by our ability to endure events such as these. Persevering proves our faith - and brings about hope.

Romans 8:28 says, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love  him, who have been called according to his purpose".  

To Err Is Human

The phrase "To err is human" is a subset of a quote from an ancient Latin proverb. The full quote is "To err is human, but to persist in error (out of pride) is diabolical".  English poet Alexander Pope added “to forgive, divine” to this proverb, and it became a very famous quote.



I've always loved the 80's song "I'm Only Human" by the Human League because it speaks truth. The chorus says:

I'm only human
Of flesh and blood I'm made
Human
Born to make mistakes

When we makes mistakes, we can choose to:

A. Learn from them; or
B. Ignore the lesson, and more than likely, repeat the mistake

Fortunately, every day brings about opportunities to exercise this choice.  When we ignore the lesson, we're acting foolish,  Foolishness is when we have a gut feeling not to do something, but we do it anyway, and we justify our actions by deceiving ourselves into thinking we were right to do what we did all along.  We start thinking anyone would have done the same thing in that situation, and can even start blaming others for making us do what we chose to do (peer pressure, our upbringing, someone else who made us angry, etc). There's a lack of personal accountability.

When we choose to learn from the mistake without repeating it, we grow wiser.  We take full accountability for our actions, blaming no one but ourselves, and do the best we can to not let it happen again.  We'll even warn people by openly sharing our mistakes and consequences so that the same mistake can be avoided by others.

When others make mistakes that impact us, we also have a choice in how we handle the situation.  Do we choose to:

A. Forgive the person that made the mistake, recognizing that we're all only human; or
B. Put down the person by calling them names (stupid, b*tch, a**shole), either to their face,or to ourselves

Yesterday, someone who knows me very well was helping me do some hard work.  We had been at it for hours, and were both getting tired.  I was ready to stop working, even though we weren't finished, so that we could do something more fun.  I hugged and thanked the person for their help, and before I could make the suggestion to take a break to go shopping, the person had jumped to the conclusion that I wanted them to leave.  

In that instance, I could have gotten defensive, and hurt by this, but instead, I assumed good intent (an honest misunderstanding), spent time clarifying my intentions, and let it go.  In the end, we went shopping, and everything was just fine.

Many times, when we make mistakes, we expect others to quickly forgive us and tend to downplay the severity of our mistake to make ourselves feel better.  Yet, when others make mistakes, we can be slow to forgive. We'll dwell on what happened and gossip about it before we let it go. Some of us don't let it go at all.

Think about what you do when faced with these daily choices.  Do you acknowledge your mistakes and learn from them?  Are you quick to forgive others for their mistakes?  Try spending more time thinking about why you do what you do, and less time worried about what others do to you.

The Stress Antidote

Distress is just another word for a lack of peace and tranquility. Physical health is influenced by spiritual health. When your spirit is uneasy, your physical health is bound to suffer.

WebMD says, "You can experience stress from your environment, your body, and your thoughts.  Stress that continues without relief can lead to a condition called distress -- a negative stress reaction. Distress can lead to physical symptoms including headaches, upset stomach, elevated blood pressure, chest pain, and problems sleeping. Research suggests that stress also can bring on or worsen certain symptoms or diseases."  

Self-torture is defined as self-imposed distress.  When we experience stress from our thoughts, we are experiencing a form of self-torture.  Distress is not our friend, it's our enemy.  Relief from stress, the stress antidote, is relaxation.  The opposite of torture is relief, peace and happiness. This information is not news for most of us, yet simply having knowledge of the antidote for stress is not enough. It's like knowing that smoking causes cancer, but we keep smoking anyway (assuming we don't have a death wish).  Knowledge is not power, action is power. 

Here are my 3 tips to keep stress in check:

1.  Use up your vacation time.  
I love vacation, and most people do too, yet most Americans don't use the vacation time they get. According to this CNN Money article, Workers in the United States received an average of 12 vacation days in 2012, which was 2 vacation days less than 2011. Ironically, Americans only took an average of 10 days off.

2.  Do something relaxing on a regular basis. 
Relaxation means different things to different people. For me, sometimes it means doing nothing at all, and other times it means doing something creative and fun. Using up vacation time doesn't mean having to book an expensive trip. Relaxation can happen anywhere and can be very affordable.

3.  Spend some time with those you love that feed your soul. 
Have deep conversations about your worries and stress.  Talking to someone you trust will not only help get it off your chest, it will also put your worry in perspective.  love on your pets and hug your kids.  If you don't have kids or pets, love on your loved one's kids and pets.  Be grateful for these soul nourishing people in your life. 

Consider the following facts from WebMD:

• 43% of all adults suffer adverse health effects from stress
• 75 - 90% of all doctor's office visits are for stress-related ailments and complaints
• Stress can play a part in problems such as headaches, high blood pressure, heart problems, diabetes, skin conditions, asthma, arthritis, depression, and anxiety.
• The Occupational Safety and health Administration (OSHA) declared stress a hazard of the workplace.

Here's to a healthy, prosperous and peaceful 2013 - cheers!

My son, do not forget my teaching, but keep my commands in your heart, for they will prolong your life many years and bring you prosperity.
- Proverbs 3: 1-2